shifting my mindset – Strength Scripted

Personal advice on living freely with chronic pain and/or disability.

Of course there are levels of severity when it comes to chronic pain and it can affect everyone differently- the person who is suffering and those around them. There are many challenges when it comes to living with chronic pain such as flare ups, multiple doctor visits, tests & medications, unable to do certain tasks around the house, people getting annoyed by your complaints, doctors not believing your pain levels, the list goes on and I’m sure you can add to the list as well. Not only are you dealing with this pain often, but you have to deal with the side effects as well.

Some things I have learned along the way I would like to share them with you. Although I consider my case minor. I deal with back and neck pain from a car accident, which include random flare ups and muscle spasms, unable to lift heavy things, unable to sit and stand for long periods of time and constantly having to stretch. My advice may or may not help you, but I encourage you to keep an open mind and share this post with a friend who may benefit from this read.

My biggest advice is to journal. Journal around your pain or disability and the narrative around it (the way you talk about the condition to yourself and others). Work on changing the vocabulary you use when you are talking about it and switch to more positive wording. Step out of the victim role and mentality. Instead of saying things like, I can’t do anything I love to do anymore because of the pain, say something like, I know it’s been hard to do the thing I loved to do, but I am doing my best to manage the pain and one day I will be able to enjoy those things even if it’s just a fraction of it. (i.e you loved hiking before your injury, but now it’s hard to get out there, so instead you choose to walk a short distance in a lovely park or trail.) Do your best to find the positive in things. Be sure to make writing affirmations into your journal daily as well.

Second piece of advice is to be your own advocate to the medical professionals. Educate yourself around your injury or disability, understand which tests are for what, what medications are actually necessary, and when you should seek a second opinion. Speaking up for yourself and asking questions without doubt or fear is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself. I am a medical professional so I am always cautious and keep myself well informed when it comes to my health because I will not be a lab rat or allow them to play the guessing game or order unnecessary tests. We must realize that doctors are human like us and can make mistakes so it’s important to be a second set of eyes to overlook your care, but at the same time a lot of medical care is about money. Some doctors will try to bill your insurance, or you, for tests or medications that could be avoided. That’s why it’s important to ask the right questions. If you have someone close with a medical background to help you be a second set of ears, that would be great as well.

My third piece of advice is for my faith believing friends. Pray! When you pray about what you’re going through, you suddenly don’t feel alone because you know God is listening. Giving your worries, fears, anxieties and doubts to God and leaving them at His feet with full faith that He will indeed take care of you, will release so much pressure and negative feelings from your mind. Whether you pray to God or the universe, you cannot deal with this pain and emotional traumas alone. You have to give someone else the load to carry while you breathe and enjoy the life you have however you can.

My last piece of advice for now is to try your very best to keep doing the things you love even if it’s not exactly how it used to be or find something new that you enjoy doing.The point here is to enjoy your new life however you can and to keep yourself busy/distracted from focusing on your pain. I notice when I am not doing anything but sitting on the couch, I tend to focus more on the pain I am experiencing so instead I force myself to do something more productive like read a book, get some writing done or call a friend or relative to chat. Feeling sorry for yourself that you can no longer do yxz will only amplify your suffering. Again, let’s change the narrative here! When you are happy and enjoying life however you can, your loved ones surrounding you will notice and it will lift them up as well. Keep a positive attitude as much as you can!

So that’s it for my top advice for living with chronic pain and/or disability. I hope that you found this post helpful and can incorporate some or all of it into your life. If no one told you lately, I will like to tell you that you are stronger and braver than you think!

Now go be great!

Xo, J

I’m back on TikTok… Maybe! (Video)

Hiiiii! Hope you are doing fabulous and you’re weekend is full of relaxation, laughter and peace.

I wanted to share with you my latest video I created on TikTok! I’ve made a few videos in the past but this is my first one in a while! Should I keep making more like this? Try something different? Or should I just stay off TikTok?? I wanna hear what you think! I honestly really enjoyed creating these kinds of videos and would like to do more if you guys like them!

Check it out below!

If you wanna follow me on TikTok my handle is “StrengthScripted”!! Follow me and I’ll follow back 🤍

xo, J

Creating the life you desire. How do you bring more happiness, peace, and positivity to your life?

How do you find happiness in the midst of chaos? We know that happiness comes from inside… but it is so hard to not allow other people around you to affect your happiness. Especially if they are very negative people with bad energy or if they treat you poorly and make you feel awful about yourself. It’s hard to not believe something if someone is constantly repeating it to you.Your environment plays a big role in your happiness and mindset.

The way you speak to yourself is SO vital in combating any negativity that has entered your mind. Speak positively to yourself all the time! When you find yourself thinking ugly thoughts about yourself immediately distract that thought with something else. That is not really YOU talking so you have full permission to shut that voice up. It’s taking valuable head space away from you. So make sure you are “washing” those negative thoughts away with positive thoughts and change the narrative.

I heard this analogy before and I love it so if you’re a visual person like myself you may find it useful. Think of your brain like a cup of clear water. When dirty water (negative thoughts) gets inside it starts to cloud the clean cup of water. So in order to get that water clean again, you have to pour clean water (positive thoughts & self talk, inspiration etc) into the cup as many times as you need to to flush that dirty water out. Same with your brain. You watch a few upsetting videos on social media, now you feel a bit down. Ever notice that? Sometimes you can even feel it in your body! That’s when it’s your job to step in and fill your mind with other things that will make you feel happy, strong, ambitious, etc.

When you make a mistake, be more understanding!! Instead of calling yourself “stupid for not doing xyz” or “so selfish and careless for forgetting that thing.” Try spinning it around. Instead say, “it stinks I forgot xyz but no worries next time I will find a way to remind myself better.”

Just like when you are trying to change something about yourself, like I mentioned in previous blog posts, it’s a mindset game – you repeat it to yourself until you believe it for yourself. This goes for both positive and negative things. If you are constantly saying, “I’m broke”… guess who will most likely stay that way? Same goes for if someone is constantly telling you how “worthless” you are- even if you don’t want to admit it or maybe you don’t even realize, but that sits in your subconscious mind and it will manifest.

Talking down to yourself after a mistake doesn’t correct the mistake and it most likely won’t prevent another one. You have to forgive yourself! There might be a reason you’ve been so forgetful lately (lack of sleep, stress, etc.) or a reason why you have no energy to get all the things done (no self-care, burning out, overwhelm etc.). It’s important to pay attention to your body and the signs your body tries to give you.

Be more mindful next time you are on social media, chatting with a friend or relative that likes to gossip, etc and think about how you feel afterwards. Do you feel some joy? Energized in some way? Sad and unmotivated? Are the negative thoughts you had during that time still in your mind for a few hours after or maybe the rest of the day? Once you realize what you feed your mind has control over how you feel and your mood then YOU have the power.

You are in control of the company you keep. You are in control of the shows and videos you watch. You are in control of what music you listen to. All of these influences are outside, but are still in your control- so be very mindful of this. Create a life you desire, whether that’s full of positivity, surrounded by great people, etc. Take the actions to start manifesting it. If you want to be surrounded by kind people, put yourself in positions to meet these kinds of people. Join a book club, go golfing, go to museums, find a church that vibes with you etc. If you want more positivity in your life then cater to that. Tweak your social media timelines and accounts you follow to show things that bring you happiness, joy and laughter, write affirmations and positive quotes on sticky notes and hang them around your home or create a wallpaper for your phone with these affirmations and quotes. Simple acts like these can be more beneficial than you realize.

Journal prompt:

What kind of life do you want to create for yourself?

Personal reflections: Living, dealing and healing from a drug addicted and/or alcoholic parent.

I honestly don’t know where to start with this one because it’s still so fresh… My father is still currently battling alcoholism and has since I was a baby. I’ve begged him to stop drinking since I was a child. By the age of 16 I knew there was nothing I could do or say that would make my dad stop drinking and using drugs. I was a daddy’s girl and was very protective over my dad which caused me to enable him. I would say things like, “Yes dad, have a beer, but only one.” “Please don’t sniff that line dad, just have some beer instead.” But I also have to remember that regardless of if I gave him ‘permission’ to drink or not, he will find a way to do what he wants. There were times where he lived with me (as an adult), and I had rules to how drunk he could get because I have had enough of dealing with my drunk father growing up. I want to help him, but I also have to protect my mental health as well. Knowing damn well that having my alcoholic father live with me while he still abuses alcohol and drugs was never good for my mental health to begin with, but there was no way I would allow my dad to be homeless. He has been in and out of rehab and only lasted several months before he relapsed and went back to his old ways. Nothing was going to stop my dad until he wanted to or until he was forced. I want to mention that my dad is an army veteran with PTSD and other mental health issues like depression and anxiety, so he turns to alcohol to numb his pain and wash away his worries. He realizes that it’s only a temporary fix, so he decides to start drinking from the time he wakes up until he goes back to sleep. Like clockwork.

It took me a while to realize that I was enabling my dad, but I felt like out of all the crap people in my dad’s life that take advantage of him and never help him out, I felt like my dad needed someone like me in his life. This was how I felt. He knows he can always come to me because I have nothing but love for him. Yes he has hurt me a lot with his addictions, but I have forgiven him and his illness because he too has had a hard upbringing. We have to remember that our parents also had a childhood and a life before us. Unhealed, our childhood traumas follow us into adulthood. I try to picture people as a child to understand them better. Everyone needs someone with some empathy in them to understand just a glimpse of our lives and traumas. Sometimes an abuser just needs to know they aren’t alone, that they do have something to live for and that someone in this world does love them.

My dad has continued to try to get clean. He has significantly reduced his drug use over the years, but alcoholism has continued to haunt him. He has realized that his drinking is starting to affect his body and organs. Right now he is dealing with several medical issues associated with his drinking and unhealthy living habits. With the help, guidance and love of God and reading the bible, my dad has put in a real effort to change his life around. He doesn’t want to hit rock bottom again and lose everything like he did 12 years ago. He has worked too hard and I believe God still has a purpose for him here because of everything terrible he has gone through, he is still alive. Recently my dad has had a major surgery and is scheduled for another surgery in a month. He now has no choice but to stop drinking and abusing his vessel that God has blessed him with.

I’ve learned from dealing with my dad that either they will decide to stop drinking or it will be decided for them one way or another. We have to remember that we cannot force our parents or loved one to stop drinking and using drugs if they do not want to put the work in to actually quit and fight temptations. We also have to remember that it isn’t our fault they are like this and that this disease is not truly who they are. They are a different person under the influence. They are hurt and broken inside and are finding a way to numb it. Many won’t admit, some will acknowledge it. It’s important to protect your mental health and energy and remind yourself that they do love you under all of the rage of alcohol and/or drugs. I am still healing from the trauma around my dad’s alcoholism and drug addiction. All we can continue doing is pray to God that he will save them and guide them onto the right path to Him. Leave all of your burdens at God’s feet and watch Him work

I hope someone reading this that is dealing with something similar can take something away from this post. I don’t have it figured out and the only psychology background I have is some college classes. I just wanted to share my personal opinions and reflections I’ve made over many years of living with this. Thank you for reading 🤍

The signs your body gives when its had enough. It’s time to listen and shift your mindset.

The thing about always putting others needs first and going through life without healing from all the trauma you have been through, you neglect yourself more than you realize and your whole self will feel it so deeply. Many of us can’t even put a name to it or even pinpoint why you feel so damn shitty all the time no matter what you do or how much sleep you get. You’re always tired, irritable, easily triggered, uneasy, stressed, anxiety riddled and may even be having physical symptoms like back pain, headaches, acne or even stomach discomfort (nausea, poop issues). Yessss self neglect can show up in many ways!!!!! It’s a snowball effect. Your body starts showing you that something isn’t right within you by messing with your moods or causing more anxiety than usual.

When we continue living life ignoring these symptoms of your body’s cry for help, they begin to grow and evolve inside you and show up in other ways like making you super irritable at your kids, husband or friends then you start experiencing headaches or stomach pains on a weekly basis now. Like seriously we need to stop living our lives putting all of our needs on the back burner because of all that is expected of us.

So what can we do to begin releasing and restoring ourselves?

There’s too much picture perfect filtered image that people paint for us that it makes it too easy to compare our lives to. We need to put the phone down and look in the mirror. Tell yourself how beautiful, strong and blessed you are and all other affirmations you need to hear. Do this daily! Then make yourself a cup of coffee and tea then pick up your journal and pen and start writing!! Allow yourself to write anything that comes to mind, even if you don’t believe it right now. Release all your fears and hopes and dreams into your journal. When you’re done you can sort your fears into the right category in your mind. Not all of your fears are rational but sometimes your mind will fully believe them. You literally have to shift the narrative in your journal to embed it into your mind. Instead of saying,” I’m so inconsistent.” Try, “I am working on becoming more consistent every day. I’m so glad that I have created a schedule to help me become more consistent” or “I’m so thankful that I can feel myself becoming more motivated to continue my consistency.” Your brain can’t really determine the truth from a lie, but it will believe what you write and think. So when you journal or while you allow your mind to drift into your thoughts- make sure you are controlling the narrative you are telling yourself.

As long as you continue caring what people think of you, it will forever eat you alive. People’s negative image of you has more to do with themselves more than anything. They see things in you they wish they had, you are doing things they wish they could, and you carry yourself in a way they could never. Don’t forget who tf you are. Focus on your self care, personal development and bettering yourself in every way.

Listen, God made every part of you PERFECT to His standards and we need to learn to love all of it. We only get one body, one mind, one soul, one life. Let’s love every part and rejoice in God’s blessings!! He is the only opinion that should matter to us!

Now go be great!

xo, J