My coffee order today was a medium cold brew, chocolate caramel syrup, sweet cold foam and 1 sugar. Delish! I love it when they add the cookie crumbs but they were all out today, but I was still satisfied!
What are you doing for your self-care today? Hot bath with candles + music? Journaling with a face mask on? Deep conditioning your hair? Long walk? Let me know in the comments! I’m sure others would love to get some ideas for themselves. Let’s spread some love 🤍
Warming up my hands with this mug filled with my favorite hot coffee. Pure bliss and peace fill me up! My self-care this morning looks like this ✨
Lately with how busy and fast everything is moving, I am being more mindful and appreciating the little things. I’m so grateful I can enjoy my coffee and look out the window this morning. Years ago I would’ve been rushing out the door to get to work. For that I am thankful.
What are you grateful for today? Try to capture little moments that bring you joy. Write about them in your journal this weekend🤍
This blog post started as a comparison article on two brands of skin care cleanser and moisturizer (which I still may do). However, something else was weighing heavy on my chest… during my research, I realized that not every product (in what I thought was the cleaner skin care brand) was actually not free of harmful chemicals. There was still a chemical or two that got into the formula! You may think, “eh, just one harmful ingredient? Not a big deal.” What if I said that this one ingredient in the face cleanser “some studies indicate toxic effects on blood and liver. It is also suspected to have effects on hormones and fertility.” Let me repeat that, A FACE CLEANSER! The most mind blowing thing about this is why is a face cleanser affecting fertility and other organs in your body?!? How is an ingredient like this even allowed in the products we use on our skin?? And what other products do we have to worry about??
I know that many products nowadays are filled with toxins and so sometimes certain warnings on products don’t really concern you because “it’s just another one added to the list,” but please know that every effort you take to reduce and minimize the amount of toxins you are exposed to on a daily basis will make a difference. Don’t be okay with another toxic product being added to your list, take control of your life and be mindful of the products you and your family are using. There are safe products out there, you just gotta find them. (But don’t worry, that’s one of the reasons that I created this blog in the first place, to spread this awareness!)
When I started this clean beauty journey I was aware of harmful chemicals in beauty and wellness products, I just didn’t know what the chemicals were, what they actually caused, or what products they were in. That’s when I made the decision to search for healthier clean products for myself and my family. I took matters into my own hands and I stopped allowing advertisements and influencers to persuade me to buy certain things without first doing my research.
It started with hair care. Then moved on to skin care. By this time I’m fed up with the amount of carcinogens, endocrine disruptors, and other irritants in my hair and skin care products, but then my eyes OPENED. What other things in my home have these harmful chemicals?!?! The laundry detergent, dish soap, house cleaning supplies, body soap, and other cosmetics like lash extension glue, acrylic nails, hair dye, and most concerning: FOOD, the list goes on!!!! My goodness, how is this even allowed!? There are many ingredients in beauty products and food products that are banned in other countries but are being served to Americans on a daily basis. Why aren’t more people talking about this?! Why is nothing being done to make our beauty and food products safer? Our literal health is at risk, but our ‘leaders’ don’t care because they don’t pay for our health care. They make money off us buying these products and they make money from us getting sick. How do we win?! By taking control of what you consume and allow into your home!
If you want to completely swap out your beauty and food products for healthier cleaner options, the price can be much higher. I try my very best to find the best deal for certain products and other cleaner alternatives, but for the things I cannot replace I just remove them completely from my life.
For instance, I’ve swapped out my body lotion for organic unrefined coconut oil from the grocery store. However, I stopped my bc completely because I could not find something better for my body and the symptoms were undesirable. It did not feel right that I was stopping my body from doing what it naturally does (even if I wasn’t TTC, processes still happen that bc stops). I don’t recommend this for everyone but praying, monthly tracking, and condoms are alternative options. It’s important to keep in mind that not everyone’s alternatives will look the same or work the same.
Finally, whether you are new to this or are already working on living a cleaner, chemical free lifestyle, I’m glad you’re here. This journey won’t be easy, but community will make it better. I’ve created this blog to be that place where you will find safer products for yourself and share your thoughts and questions.I also write a lot about self-care and self-love because if you don’t incorporate either of those in your life, then you won’t have the motivation or drive to make the necessary changes in your life. It’s more than just swapping out products, you’re choosing your health and future!
Follow along for more content like this 🤍 StrengthScripted.com
You don’t have to have everything figured out. If you didn’t reach a goal you had for yourself, it is not the end of the world. Just pick it up and keep moving. Because why stop there? You gotta keep moving because there is more to life than focusing on the negative. Life is too short, and I know that it’s cliche to say but it really is a reminder we all need. We are losing people every day, more and more people are being diagnosed with disabilities that prevent them from enjoying life, and time is moving faster these days it seems. Don’t settle for mediocre because you deserve so much better. So today I want you to choose to put you first and make the commitment to take better care of yourself. Nurture and invest in yourself so that you can continue growing, healing, and truly living your best life. Implement a new self-care routine for the mornings or weekends, invest in books and courses, join a book club, spend more time outdoors, and do things that bring you real genuine joy. Because again, life is too short to sit around and watch it fly by.
What are you going to do to this week to create a happier, more fulfilled life?
Share with me in the comments!
I hope this message encourages you to take action on your self-care and mental health this week. Please let me know if I can help you in any way! (Check the contact tab for ways to get in contact with me).
When it comes to skin care products, there are shelves upon shelves and pages upon pages online of skin care products. It’s a lot being thrown at you and it may be hard to choose which products are right for you and what products will help with what. There is only so much I can fit in one post and I will try to touch on the most common situation. However, if you need more 1-on-1 help please email me and we can connect more! For now, start with this post because no matter your skin situation, you can still benefit from this post.
Shall we begin?
Step 1: CLEANSE
First things first you need a good cleanser. If you wear a full face of makeup you will need to double cleanse. Yes, this may mean two different cleansers or cleansing twice with one cleanser. The reason being is that many times you will have a residue of makeup left behind on your skin still so the rest of your routine isn’t going to do much to protect against the damage of the makeup sitting in your pores. You want your face completely clean and clear before moving on to the next step.
Some great cleansers that I recommend:
CeraVe Hydrating Facial Cleanser (for normal to dry skin)- CeraVe has many options for your skin so be sure to read the bottles and choose the right one for you whether you have dry, oily, combination or normal skin. Either way, you cannot go wrong with this cleanser. Amazon has a bundle with this cleanser plus a moisturizer for a steal!
CeraVe Hydrating Facial Cleanser
Charcoal & Tea Tree Face bar soap from PackageFreeShop – One of my fav clean beauty products! If you can’t find that specific kind on the website then definitely check out the other face bar soaps offered. You cannot go wrong with PackageFree Shop products!
Step 2: TREATMENT
This step isn’t necessary for all skin types. If you have no major skin issues that aren’t solved with a cleanse and moisturizer then you can skip this step. However, some people deal with breakouts, redness, blackheads, acne, etc. and that is where the treatment step will come into play. This is when it really depends on your problem area (again, you can email me for more help!).
Here are some products I recommend:
Niacinamide 10% from The Ordinary -for redness, blotchiness, hyperpigmentation, protects against sun damage (you should still apply sunscreen though), minimizes wrinkles and fine lines and creates a sort of skin barrier for protection. Honestly, this can be used by many people because of all of its benefits!!! I would say to ease into this product. Some people may experience a sensitivity like a burning sensation. I experienced this so now I use one drop (literally! You don’t need much!) and apply it to my face once a day or every other day to start. The burning sensation goes away after a minute and any redness it creates will subside as well and leaves your skin glowing. However, if it is burning a lot and it doesn’t subside after a minute even after using less of the product then I would discontinue use. Currently I only use niacinamide under my eyes (for fine lines) and around my nose and mouth area (for redness/blotchiness)
Niacinamide
Hyaluronic Acid from The Ordinary– The perfect addition to your routine if you need a little extra moisture and love for your skin. Everyone can benefit from a little extra hyaluronic acid to keep their skin looking hydrated and plump. Some even reported having younger looking skin after consistently using it for a month.
Hyaluronic Acid
Salicylic Acid for imperfections and blemishes from Sephora – for breakouts, blemishes and pimples. This comes in different treatment forms, but the one I use is from Sephora. It’s more of a spot treatment, so when I’m breaking out, noticing some blackheads or to get rid of the sun spots on my nose I will use this product. Some people may need to use salicylic acid more often to treat more severe breakouts and control acne. They even make cleansers with this ingredient already in there so if you struggle with breakouts on your face definitely look into a cleanser with salicylic acid (not for daily use, can be harsh) and/or a salicylic acid treatment product to include in your routine. Unfortunately this one isn’t on Amazon so you’ll have to check Sephora directly.
Salicylic Acid from Sephora (spot treatments)
OrganicJojoba Oil- this one is my little secret. I add this after my treatment and before my moisturizer. I used to just use this oil as a moisturizer, but I found that the moisturizer applied after the jojoba oil really sealed in the moisture. There are a number of benefits for using jojoba oil such as reducing wrinkles, preventing acne, healing, anti-inflammatory properties and of course extra moisture without the excess oily skin look. It is safe to use daily but if your skin is on the oily side I would use it every other day.
STEP 3: MOISTURIZE
This step is so important!!!! No matter how soft or moisturized your skin seems, never skip this step! This is where everything you just did to your skin gets locked in and absorbed into your skin and pores. There are soooo many options for moisturizers, but it’s best to keep it simple and focus on what your skin needs.
If you have no clue what to use here are some suggestions to start with…
CeraVe moisturizing Cream– At first sight this cream seemed super thick but a little goes a long way (so if you get the tub, it will last you a long time).
CeraVe Face Moisturizer
Organic Jojoba oil- Yupp I’m mentioning this liquid gold again. Some say you can’t use an oil as a moisturizer, but I beg to differ because I did it for two years before I started using the CeraVe moisturizer and my skin cleared up so nicely!! Although I didn’t have many skin issues besides some redness and occasional breakouts.
STEP 4: SPF/SUNSCREEN
A routine is not complete without some sunscreen! I guess on rainy days you can skip this step, but overall sunscreen is an absolute must if you want to protect your skin from sun damage, sun spots, sunburns, early signs of aging, the list goes on. Do yourself a favor and get a good sunscreen for your face. The sunblocks you get for your body probably won’t be the best for your face because of how heavy and greasy they tend to be. The ones made for your face tend to have a lighter application.
The one and only sunscreen I use on my face:
Bliss sunscreen tinted SPF 30. Maybe even a stronger SPF – I loveeeeee this sunscreen for my face. It’s tinted and leaves my skin with a smooth matte finish. I’ve never had any breakouts or sensitivity (I have sensitive skin), it doesn’t feel heavy on my skin, and it comes in a small travel size to try it out before committing! Although you’ll probably love it anyway. If needed, get a higher SPF!
Bliss Sunscreen 30 SPF
So how are you feeling about creating your skin care routine?! If you benefited from this blog post please let me know in the comments or share it with a friend! However, if you are still lost on where to start or whether or not a product is right for you, I’d love to chat and try to help you out! Just shoot me a message or email!
Now go be great!
xo, J
*This post contains affiliate links. It costs you nothing extra but it helps support a family behind this business as well as you. I do not recommend anything I don’t truly believe in!
We need to talk about the real meaning of “self-care” because it has turned into such an overused word that is beginning to change the true meaning of it. Sure many self-care practices involve bath bombs, skin care routines, yoga etc. but the more vital part of self-care is why you’re doing it, how it makes you feel and how it’s helping you improve yourself worth, self love and confidence. There’s more to self care than bath bombs.
Self-care is building an unbreakable bond between your mind, body and soul.
Janice Avilla @strengthscripted
I don’t make self-care a priority because it’s fun and trendy. I make my self-care a priority because it fills my cup up. It gives me energy to tackle the day. It lifts me back up after a long hard day. It makes me feel worthy of being loved by myself, not others. It makes me happy. I do it for ME. I do it for my son. Because when I take care of myself, I’m more happy and at ease and I can give my best to my son and the people around me.
Practicing self care regularly has allowed me to connect more deeply with myself. I am more in tune with my mind and body. I can read the signs my body is giving more clearly. I know when my period is coming, estimate when I’m ovulating, and recognize that certain pain in my body is my mind trying to distract me from something bigger. I can identify the emotions I’m feeling and help myself process those feelings accordingly. My anxiety has gotten better because I can organize my thoughts and determine whether they are rational or not. I have created my own inner happiness that is untouched by my environment. All because of my commitment to self-care
I have created my own inner happiness that is untouched by my environment. All because of my commitment to self-care.
Janice @StrengthScripted
Society and big brands trying to sell you their products slap the “self-care” word all over their marketing and hope people will fall for it. Influencers claim if you use their essential oils or bath bomb then you will feel so much happy and fulfilled because of this self care act. In reality, people need to look within and find what you actually need to feel fulfilled. Everyone’s self care needs are different and no one can tell you what YOU need to do for self care to fill YOUR cup up and improve YOUR self love. If you don’t like to take baths then what good are bath bombs gonna be? What works for some might not work that well for you.
My biggest advice for beginning your actual self-care journey is to journal. Write down anything that comes to mind, everything that makes you happy, things you love, things you want to do someday, your goals, dreams, desired lifestyle, etc. etc. Just write. You will get to know yourself in your journal and begin building your self-care routine that’s catered specifically to you. It’s much more special when you build your own routine. I would check out The Self Love Journalthat I created to help you get started. It’s a workbook style PDF with journal prompts, self care planner etc to help guide you on your journey. [Check the shop tab on top or click the link above]. It’s what helped me so much on my own journey so I worked really hard to put a book together to share with others. When I began this journey I was alone and didn’t know others who were interested in anything self-care (explains all the burnout in the workplace), but you don’t have to feel that way because I am here for you! My mission here is to create a community for women who are all on their self-care/love journey that can share their experience and advice to others and help build each other up. If you’re interested in joining the group chat, please comment below or email me directly [check the contact tab] so I can add you. It’s a secure and private chat vetted personally by me!
Lastly, I hope that this post has resonated with you and has given you the motivation to make self-care a priority to you. If you’re still feeling a bit unsure, join the chat and start there or purchase the The Self Love journal to get started. But you don’t really need any of these, just yourself. You got this!!! One stepping stone at a time.
I hope it will help you like it has helped me. Even if it’s just for today.
Sometimes we wonder how we even got here in the first place. Do we even deserve any of this? Why are things the way they are and why can’t we control more of our surroundings? Life is crazy. It goes up and down and loves to take sudden twists and turns. You learn, laugh and cry along the way. You feel pain and joy. Happiness and sadness. You pray and hope for your desires and dreams to come to life. You do your best to take care of those around you. And life continues to go on. Sometimes what we want doesn’t happen. We don’t get the job we wanted, the client we hoped to sign, the right price on the car you wanted to buy. Things don’t always go the way we want. Or so we thought. Sometimes we have to look beyond our foremost thoughts and change our perceptions. Open your eyes and actually look around you. Are the things you have prayed for actually not there? Or are they just disguised or hidden? Maybe they are there but you are just too distracted by life stressors and focused on the other things you want in the moment?
Have you taken a moment to really appreciate life in full? Have you taken a moment to remove any toxicity and negativity to make room for those blessings? Remember when you prayed for a car and now look at you. Remember when you prayed for the clothing and accessories you have now? The new tech gadgets to keep you connected to friends and family? What about the roof over your head? Good food? More money? Loving spouse? Friendships? More connections? Inner peace? Clear skin? New skills? Healthy growing hair? Your green thumb? Confidence? Ambition? Motivation? Do you remember praying and hoping for any of this several years ago? You have certainly come a long way. Maybe it wasn’t the exact path you wanted.
Sometimes we forget that God comes through on His time and with His plan.
But we also tend to be distracted by everything else. Nowadays everything is moving so fast that we are always focused on the next thing, the next want. That we never really appreciate the good things we have now. Of course, not everything is perfect!! You may be living with a narcissistic spouse, but you get to stay home with your kids in a big house, have all of your bills paid, a nice car, money to play with while building your own business. Or you may be working with a coworker who you cannot stand with a passion, but you enjoy your time with the clients you work with at your dream job. It’s vital to find the good in situations and remember that everything is temporary (for the most part). Your current living situation won’t be the same forever, so try to enjoy the moments you can!! Find the good in every situation you face and find comfort in knowing that your life won’t be the same forever, things will change and keep moving. You will heal and move forward with life. With faith in God, everything will be okay. You just have to keep going, keep praying and keep your faith high. Even when times feel so hard that you can’t keep doing it, drop to your knees and give your burdens to God to handle then release it. Find comfort in knowing that he is working even when you think he has forgotten. He has not and will never forget. Have faith that God will take care of it.
Now, take a deep breath and blowwww out anything heavy you are holding on to. Release it all in that forceful blow of air. Take another deep breath and release. Everything is working in your favor even if it doesn’t seem like so.
I am back and feeling good! How are you?! I hope everything is going great where you are. I hope when you’re reading this that you are in some comfy pajamas, curled up on the couch, got a warm cup of tea or wine- whatever you are feeling this evening, and ideally you have a candle lit as well, creating a nice and cozy vibe. After a long week, it’s time for you to sit back, relax and read helpful ways to improve your skin care with clean beauty products thus improving your self-care routine because that is the goal here- fulfilling our self-care needs. Which, by the way, did you know there are like 8 categories of self- care?? We are most familiar with physical and emotional self-care. That’s the bath bombs, yoga, meditation, journaling, skin care routines, etc. However, it’s important that there is more to self-care than that. There are other areas of your life that also need nurturing. There is physical, emotional, psychological, social, professional, environmental, spiritual and financial self-care. It seems like a lot, but it’s all about balancing and maintaining these areas in your life. We can get more into it in another post (let me know in the comments if you’d like me to write a post on this!).
Moving on, I wanted to share my top 3 favorite skin care products that are perfect for those who don’t know where to start when it comes to their skin care routine and for those who are looking for a cleaner beauty product to swap your current product with. Since I’m all about using products without any harmful and harsh ingredients, most of the products I recommend are usually safe for most skin types. I’m all about keeping your routines simple so that you can stay consistent!! If you have a 7-step skin care routine, you’re probably not going to be as consistent as you should. So, I want to recommend 3 products to get you started. A cleanser, a moisturizer and a salve (for lips and lashes!). As time goes on and you have a solid routine, then you can start adding or removing certain products and really fine tuning your personal skin care routine based on your skin type and needs. Okay, lets get into it!
tea tree and charcoal face cleansing bar soap
First one up is the tea tree and charcoal face bar soap! My cleanser! The perfect cleanser for most skin types- seriously. I paid $12 for this soap and it lasts MONTHS. It smells reallyyyy good as well which is always a plus during self-care. Fragrance in products is so harmful so when you get natural fragrance from clean beauty products, I always see that as a WIN WIN! Anyways, this soap is gentle enough to use daily and doesn’t leave your face feeling dry like other face cleansers that I have used do. I literally feel like I don’t need to put moisturizer on afterwards! But don’t be silly, apply that moisturizer!!!!!
organic jojoba oil
Number twoooo!! Moisturizer! Again, use your judgment here! I use organic jojoba oil on my face daily after cleansing. I honestly do not cleanse every day because I don’t feel like my skin needs it (it’s on the sensitive side!) so I only use cleanser 3-5 times a week, however, I rinse my face with cold water every single day then apply the organic jojoba oil very lightly. I only pour a tiny amount into my palm then use my finger and basically dip it and gently rub into my skin. A little goes a very long way here. You don’t want to plaster your face with oil because it’ll feel too heavy and suffocated. Any excess can be rubbed into your neck and chest area. Don’t forget to include this part of your body in your skin care routine because it’s one of the first things that age in women so show it some extra love now.
Organic salve
Last but not least, organic salve! I know what you’re thinking, what in the world is salve?? Is that what you put on cuts?! Okay, yes it can be. However, salve can be used for so much more than small scrapes. I have replaced my lip balm with organic salve, and it leaves my lips nice and smooth and shiny, and it doesn’t build up in the corners like chapstick does sometimes. No one has time for that white build up on your lips after reapplying the chapstick that keeps drying out your lips. Yes, you read that right! There are literally ingredients in your chapstick that dries out your lips so that you must reapply- the more you use the more you buy. Save yourself some time! I even found that it gives my lashes a boost when I apply a little salve to them then brush them with a lash brush. Be sure to gently wash your lashes in between uses. (YouTube simple ways to clean your natural eyelashes). You can use salve for many things, but I really love using it on my lips and lashes.
Three super simple products that can really give you the boost you need. Check my other blog post titled “Simple and effective ways to enhance your natural beauty without adding any makeup!” for some straightforward tips on skin care and lash care using the jojoba oil and salve as well as other products you may or may not already have! Click the link to check it out. In the meantime, I hope you benefited from this post!! I hope that it has made you feel more confident and in control of your skin care routine. Little by little you will learn the needs of your skin and know which products will work for you. It’s a journey as well as a trial-and-error process so do your best to not feel overwhelmed about it. Just take one step at a time! You do not need to have it all figured out! You got this! As always, I’m here for you!! So if you have any questions just shoot me a message! (Check the contact tab for my info and social handles).
Hiiiii! Hope you are doing fabulous and you’re weekend is full of relaxation, laughter and peace.
I wanted to share with you my latest video I created on TikTok! I’ve made a few videos in the past but this is my first one in a while! Should I keep making more like this? Try something different? Or should I just stay off TikTok?? I wanna hear what you think! I honestly really enjoyed creating these kinds of videos and would like to do more if you guys like them!
Check it out below!
If you wanna follow me on TikTok my handle is “StrengthScripted”!! Follow me and I’ll follow back 🤍
Something comfy, something that smells good, something inspiring or funny…What else?
I created this short and sweet list of items you can easily get your hands on to bring you the most comfort in your self-care routines. The importance of self-care is so underrated!! When you actively do things to help yourself feel good, it has a compound effect. It will keep benefiting you as long as you keep pouring into it. You will become a better version of yourself because you have been nurturing your mental, emotional and physical health consistently. Your growth will go unnoticed until you realize the results you are seeing is thanks to your self-care of your mind, body and spirit. Don’t forget to save this post to visit later and send it to a friend who can benefit from this blog! Word of mouth is important for small women owned businesses so thank you for your support. Now let’s get into it!
Skin care products– moisturizer, cleanser, oils, lip scrubs, and masks etc. – They will always leave you feeling refreshed after you finish your skin care routine. When you look good, you usually feel good. So, take this literal and take care of yourself.
Jade roller & Gua sha tool & derma roller– These items give you a sense of accomplishment when you use them. You’ll feel like you are going that extra mile when it comes to caring for yourself and your skin. Do your research on the derma roller before trying though!! Also, you really don’t have to spend a ton of money on the jade roller & gua sha tool. Check out the one I use at home that I got from Amazon for a super good deal!Check it out here.
Herbal tea, warm bone broth or coffee– These are a given. Warm drinks tend to soothe your body and belly bringing you ultimate comfort. Bone broth is actually really good for you too! As you already know, be mindful of caffeine especially when you are getting ready to go to sleep.
Cozy blanket, pajamas and socks/slippers– There is nothing better than being in super comfy clothing and wrapped in a cozy blanket while relaxing after a long day! It is just so comforting and allows you to exhale the day’s heavy work.
Noise canceling earbuds to listen to meditation music or ASMR- Drowning out the chaos around you to escape reality for a bit is sometimes extremely necessary. Music usually does the trick, but if you’re looking to try something different, search on Youtube: “ASMR for relaxation.” When you get passed the initial awkwardness/weirdness, it can reallyyyyy help your mind relax and may even feel your body tingling. (Search for simplykel asmr or tingting asmr on YouTube).
Soy candles, oil diffusers and/or fireplace– (avoid ‘fragrance’ and anything that’ll irritate your lungs) Candles (soy) always bring this sense of calmness to the room. Maybe it’s the fire flickering or the smell. If you don’t have any candles, just search “fireplace burning with noise” on YouTube and full screen it on your TV. Different scents of essential oils can affect your moods so pick the right scent for the mood you are manifesting. Aromatherapy can be quite beneficial to your overall mood.
House plants– Adding a variety of plants to your home will significantly improve your environment, especially impacting your mental wellness. Caring for the plants like trimming, watering, repotting, dusting/wiping leaves, etc. can be extremely relaxing, soothing and stress reducing. Some other benefits include improved moods, improved air quality, and decreased symptoms of depression. If you are a new plant parent, I would suggest checking Etsy and searching for “plant cuttings” which would be perfect to begin your plant journey. They’re cheap and gives you a variety of plants to practice with. Also try using the PlantIn app for useful tips!
Thick yoga mat + stretch bands– You’re going to use these two items for ultimate stretching and release of tension and stress that’s weighing you down. I want to emphasize a ‘thick’ yoga mat because it will give you the best cushion and comfort for certain positions that can be tough on your bones and joints especially on hardwood floors. I got mine off of Amazon and simply searched for a mat that was an inch or more in thickness.
Get a pet!- I realize it sounds bad to call a pet a ‘self care item’ lol. However, animals can have such a big impact on our lives!! Caring for them can give us a sense of importance and being needed and the love they give you for it can fill our hearts. Finding the right pet for you is key here. Dogs are amazing, so are cats, bunnies, ferrets, sugar gliders (must get as a baby or have a ton of patience and experience to rescue an adult), and certain birds are great companions. Please be mindful when deciding if getting a pet is right for you. When you adopt an animal, you are making a lifelong commitment to them that you will care for them until they pass. Please be responsible!
Find a good book to read! – Whether it’s a funny comic book, an inspiring story book, or a personal development book. Take a ride to your local library, thrift shop or bookstore and get yourself something new to read. If you need a suggestion, check out “How Happiness Happens” by Max Lucado. Absolute fantastic read.
Take a hot shower or bath. Add a bath bomb if you’re feeling fancy! – This one is FREE! Well, except if you pay for hot water and/or water in general (hello homeowners!). However, this is a simple way to begin relaxing your body. The warmth will relax and loosen your muscles and the steam in the air will clear up your airways if you’re feeling a bit stuffed up. Bath bombs with CBD will give you ultimate relaxation.
This is all I have for you right now! Can you think of any that I missed? Share them in the comments section!!
xo, J
*Some links in this post are affiliate links which means I may receive a small percentage if you make a purchase. Of course, your purchase helps my family and I, but I am sharing these products in order to help you. I only recommend products that I’ve personally used and think others will benefit from. I will not suggest something I don’t believe in!
The cliche saying that self-care is not selfish is actually advice that everyone needs to take. We all need to remember that self-care is vital for our mental well being. Sometimes we do need to put ourselves first over our children and spouse- within reason of course. Don’t leave your hungry child crying so that you can go journal in the other room or call out of work several times and cause unnecessary issues there. There must be a balance though. You must be able to care for yourself on top of all of your other life duties. Creating daily habits that make incorporating self-care into your life easily is the key to having a solid self-care routine that fills your cup every day.
Okay, got it. But how do I create these habits and how do I keep them going consistently?? I don’t have all of the answers since I am currently still a work in progress. However, through my experiences I find when I make it enjoyable and easy to do, I have a little more motivation to do it. You’re not going to want to do something every day if it actually doesn’t make you feel good in some way. There has to be a reward! Once you start getting in the groove of completing the task and receiving the reward (ex, seeing fitness results, seeing your skin clear, etc.) you will want to keep doing it.
Also, a little trick I have used to start a new habit, if it’s applicable, try doing it when you can fit it. (A name for this is “habit stacking”). For instance, if you want to make it a habit of stretching every day, do it while you wait for your coffee maker to heat up or while breakfast cooks. If you want to make it a habit of reading every day, do it while your spouse is cooking dinner, while the little one(s) naps, or during your lunch hour at work. Not only will it make it easier to do it consistently, but it also can be a little reminder as well. Once the clock hits 12 and it’s lunch time, that means you can eat and read for a bit. You’ll start associating the two together so it’ll feel weird when you skip a day because your mind remembers that it is supposed to be doing something during lunch hour. READ! Of course this isn’t an overnight thing. It’s a process that requires dedication and patience while you wait to see results.
Always feel tired? Yea that’s a sign you have to LISTEN to your body. When you’re experiencing certain symptoms out of nowhere, it’s your body talking to you. Stop ignoring your body’s signs (random pains, aches, exhaustion, fatigue, etc like you’ve always have. If you’re anything like the old me then you’re used to powering through things because the family needs to be taken care of, bills need to be paid and life needs to be lived. If you’re always on go mode, when is your body going to release the stresses of everyday life and recharge your mind and body to tackle future obstacles? You have to REST and SLEEP!!! Take small doses of melatonin if you must, watch some ASMR, read a random book (reading makes some people sleepy), etc. Do what you gotta do to get your 8 hours of sleep every night. I’m not joking.
Unless you have severe insomnia and are getting treatment from a doctor, this isn’t necessarily directed to you. I had a friend that dealt with insomnia so I have an idea of how hard it can be, but it’s important to still rest even if you don’t fall asleep and even more important to NOT get annoyed that you’re having trouble sleeping. Just restttt! Try laying down with your eyes closed and clearing your mind by focusing on your breathing. Put your hands on your belly or chest to feel the breathing if you’re having trouble visualizing it. Sometimes the movement will help you picture it in your head, but it will also soothe you at the same time. I try this with my son when he is having trouble getting settled for bedtime and it helps him sometimes! (He is a wild 5 year old though lol).
So that’s all I have for you today! I’m positive there will be part 2, 3 etc. to this in the future because I am always learning new things and evolving as time passes, just like you. So be sure to check back and while you’re here check out the Self Love Journal under the shop tab! It’s the perfect place to begin your self-care journey!
Please email me with any questions, concerns, feedback or just to say hello! You can find my info under the “contact” tab.
Sometimes awful situations lead us to great things.
Please set your triggers to the side and read this post with an open mind and heart. I’m going to talk about a rough phase in my life that I am still healing from till this day. I will spare the details for maybe a future blog post(s), but for now I just want to share when self-care became a vital part in my life and how it got me out of the dark place I was in for so long.
It was my first year being a mom. A time I expected to be one of the happiest and joyful times in my life, but instead was filled with stress, anxiety, anger, and pain. A lot of pain. The following 3-4 years weren’t much different. In fact, it got worse. I will sum it up by saying one thing… I was suffering from abuse in many forms by a loved one. At the same time dealing with postpartum depression and anxiety. I was forced into a very dark place, and I had no idea what was happening. Life just passed me by. I was always so sad and hurt that I couldn’t enjoy my new baby or motherhood. I viewed myself in such a negative way it was heart shattering. I didn’t believe I was worthy enough of anything. I literally thought I looked “disgusting” with the extra baby weight and stretch marks. I would speak to myself so harshly when I made simple human mistakes.A lot of this was just me repeating what has been said to me so much that I started to identify as it.
I am so thankful to my doctor for noticing signs of postpartum depression from me because she was the one who referred me to this awesome therapist. Unfortunately, I withheld the part of spousal abuse when I spoke with her every week. Again, I identified with the things he was saying to me, so it was easy to claim them as my own words. So, she had no idea what I was going through and thinking back now I regret not telling her because she probably could’ve helped me more. However, during one of our sessions she asked me, “What are you doing for self-care?” I literally had to ask her what exactly falls under self-care because I cannot remember the last time I did something for myself besides taking a quick 10 minute shower, especially as a new mom. (btw a shower is a basic life necessity, not your self-care for the day!) I had no time, energy, or desire to do anything for myself after finishing all my mom and wife duties. But she goes on to say, “you cannot keep running on E. You have to fill your tank up too so that you can be the best mom and wife.” So I say, “Okay, I get that. But how do I even fit doing things for myself with my busy schedule? I don’t even see it being worth my time or effort.”
That’s where the problem was. I didn’t see self-care as being worth the time and effort which truly meant I didn’t see myself as important enough to care for. I didn’t value my needs and wants. I didn’t see the importance of my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual wellness. I needed to completely shift this mindset I had about myself because it was so damaging and extremely limiting. This kind of thinking kept me in this dark bubble. A dark comfy bubble. It didn’t allow me to grow or to even be mindful enough to see the signs my body was giving me. This kind of mindset kept me numb and going through each day looking forward to bedtime.
After talking more with my therapist, I realize I’m going to have to do some real work if I want a change in my life and to find the joy in things again. The first step was incorporating different forms of self-care into my life at least 1-2 times per week. This came in the form of journaling, yoga, doing my makeup, skin care, coffee outdoors, walks by the water, taking care of my natural hair, writing, and some other things I cannot remember right now. It was over the course of several years that I started these self-care habits so don’t think I began doing all of these things the next day. Journaling is the very first thing I started doing. I have always loved to write so this one was kind of easy for me to start. If you don’t make it easy or fun, you won’t be motivated at all to do it. Makeup was tough because I was limited on time, but it was something I really enjoyed doing before I became a mom so I would try to do my makeup whenever I could. Then I ran into skin care issues from wearing the makeup so naturally I transitioned to skin care and clean beauty products as a part of my self-care. I chose Sundays as my mini spa day where I would do hair and face masks (usually DIY from Pinterest) and eventually started painting my nails as well.
I just found things to do that brought me happiness, even if it was super small. I felt really good after doing my morning skin routine and going through the week with my nails painted. The more I noticed positive results from doing these self-care tasks, the more I wanted to do them. Whether it was feelings of happiness and being proud that I checked off self-care from my to-do list or seeing physical results from doing the yoga, walking and exercising and even my clear skin, I wanted to keep doing it. It made me feel good about my appearance, yes, but it made me feel so damn good inside at the same time. I felt worthy again. Like I deserve so much better. Self-care gave me a new perspective on life. It helped me crawl out of the depression hole and appreciate and love myself from the inside out, no matter what outside influences say. It made me realize how poorly I have been treating myself, how much I have been suffering and how much I have been suppressing my emotions as well. I was no longer numb to life.
If you related to anything I said, even if it was just one statement. I urge you to start taking self-care more seriously. Do things for you unapologetically with no regrets. Love all of you and pour into yourself consistently so that you can continue to pour into everyone around you. Self-care is defined by how you want to define it. My definition is taking care of all of you in every way necessary because you matter so damn much. Regardless of what, your presence in this world matters and you are here for a purpose!!
Continue to follow this blog for all things self-care, self-love and mental wellness.
•Coconut oil (Raw, unrefined. From the grocery store) OR organic jojoba oil.
•Eyelash brush (used exclusively for your lashes)
•Eyelash curler
•Eyebrow brush
•Eyebrow gel & filler
•Lip plumper (clear color)
Starting with coconut oil or jojoba oil (my new go-to for moisturizing your skin). Rinse your face with cold water. Pat dry then apply some of your moisturizer or oil. It’ll give your face a nice shine however if you are using coconut oil, you may want to pat some areas with a tissue after about 5 minutes of letting it sit to wipe off any excess oil. The organic jojoba oil doesn’t leave your face as greasy as the coconut oil, but both are great for your skin. Just be aware that coconut oil may clog your pores when overused, so go easy!
Doing little things to enhance your features you already have can go a long way. Feel good about your appearance because you were so uniquely made.
Next, gently brushing your lashes every morning can really improve your eye appearances (especially if you are wearing a mask, people notice eyes more than ever now). Go a step further and apply a little jojoba oil (or organic salve) to your lashes. Go light because if you get some in your eye it may make your vision a tad bit blurry for a few seconds lol Speaking from experience! The jojoba oil may help with lash growth as well!
Now it’s time to curl those lashes with your lash curler! Look for one that won’t crease your lashes. You can find some decent quality ones at your local CVS pharmacy.
Along with your eyes, are your eyebrows that can either hurt or help your look. Having the right shape and fill can dramatically enhance your appearance. That’s where the eyebrow brush, gel and filler comes in! Maybe you’ll consider the filler part makeup, whatever lol. Play around with your brows!! Get to know them! Brush them all in an upward direction and slowly shape your brows how you like. Use the filler to fill in any areas with little hair or to create a more prominent arch. A little goes a long way and for a more natural look, don’t go too crazy. Then use the gel to hold your brows in place. I found my brow gel and filler at Target!
I also suggest finding yourself a good eyebrow person whether you wax or thread them. Be clear with how you want your eyebrows to be shaped (each time you go because they can’t remember every one of their client’s wants. Speaking from experience!!!) and have them work with you to obtain that shape. It won’t be overnight but working with the same person who knows what your goal is will make it much more attainable!
Lastly, some of you might pass on this especially if you are required to wear masks. But adding a clear lip plumper can really be the cherry on top for your natural look 💋 Don’t forget to apply some moisturizing lip balm beforehand (Burt’s bees is the way to go, organic salve and coconut oil can be used as well.)
[Can’t forget to mention! Your hair is equally as important but that discussion will be for another post 😅]
Now you’re ready to slay the day! 🌹
What do you think of this simple natural routine? I do this every single morning, I may skin the brow fill & gel on some days, but this is so quick and easy I do it right after brushing my teeth. It makes me feel refreshed and ready for the day without having to worry about removing any makeup at the end of the day. As a mom, I’m always looking for ways to simplify my routines so that I can keep up with them consistently. It’s easy to allow your self-care to go on the back burner, but we are no longer allowing that, right!? Right.
How do you find happiness in the midst of chaos? We know that happiness comes from inside… but it is so hard to not allow other people around you to affect your happiness. Especially if they are very negative people with bad energy or if they treat you poorly and make you feel awful about yourself. It’s hard to not believe something if someone is constantly repeating it to you.Your environment plays a big role in your happiness and mindset.
The way you speak to yourself is SO vital in combating any negativity that has entered your mind. Speak positively to yourself all the time! When you find yourself thinking ugly thoughts about yourself immediately distract that thought with something else. That is not really YOU talking so you have full permission to shut that voice up. It’s taking valuable head space away from you. So make sure you are “washing” those negative thoughts away with positive thoughts and change the narrative.
I heard this analogy before and I love it so if you’re a visual person like myself you may find it useful. Think of your brain like a cup of clear water. When dirty water (negative thoughts) gets inside it starts to cloud the clean cup of water. So in order to get that water clean again, you have to pour clean water (positive thoughts & self talk, inspiration etc) into the cup as many times as you need to to flush that dirty water out. Same with your brain. You watch a few upsetting videos on social media, now you feel a bit down. Ever notice that? Sometimes you can even feel it in your body! That’s when it’s your job to step in and fill your mind with other things that will make you feel happy, strong, ambitious, etc.
When you make a mistake, be more understanding!! Instead of calling yourself “stupid for not doing xyz” or “so selfish and careless for forgetting that thing.” Try spinning it around. Instead say, “it stinks I forgot xyz but no worries next time I will find a way to remind myself better.”
Just like when you are trying to change something about yourself, like I mentioned in previous blog posts, it’s a mindset game – you repeat it to yourself until you believe it for yourself. This goes for both positive and negative things. If you are constantly saying, “I’m broke”… guess who will most likely stay that way? Same goes for if someone is constantly telling you how “worthless” you are- even if you don’t want to admit it or maybe you don’t even realize, but that sits in your subconscious mind and it will manifest.
Talking down to yourself after a mistake doesn’t correct the mistake and it most likely won’t prevent another one. You have to forgive yourself! There might be a reason you’ve been so forgetful lately (lack of sleep, stress, etc.) or a reason why you have no energy to get all the things done (no self-care, burning out, overwhelm etc.). It’s important to pay attention to your body and the signs your body tries to give you.
Be more mindful next time you are on social media, chatting with a friend or relative that likes to gossip, etc and think about how you feel afterwards. Do you feel some joy? Energized in some way? Sad and unmotivated? Are the negative thoughts you had during that time still in your mind for a few hours after or maybe the rest of the day? Once you realize what you feed your mind has control over how you feel and your mood then YOU have the power.
You are in control of the company you keep. You are in control of the shows and videos you watch. You are in control of what music you listen to. All of these influences are outside, but are still in your control- so be very mindful of this. Create a life you desire, whether that’s full of positivity, surrounded by great people, etc. Take the actions to start manifesting it. If you want to be surrounded by kind people, put yourself in positions to meet these kinds of people. Join a book club, go golfing, go to museums, find a church that vibes with you etc. If you want more positivity in your life then cater to that. Tweak your social media timelines and accounts you follow to show things that bring you happiness, joy and laughter, write affirmations and positive quotes on sticky notes and hang them around your home or create a wallpaper for your phone with these affirmations and quotes. Simple acts like these can be more beneficial than you realize.
Journal prompt:
What kind of life do you want to create for yourself?
There is no secret formula or pill you can take to make all your childhood traumas (and other traumas) disappear like they’ve never happened. I wish, for everyone’s sake, there was. Everyone’s journey is unique to them so no two people will share the exact same path to healing. Healing happens within and is catered to you and your emotions, mindset, and environment, etc. There are so many moving factors, and some things may work now and stop working in the future and that’s okay!! It’s totally normal because your healing journey is supposed to evolve. It shouldn’t be linear because we are complex humans with complex emotions. So don’t freak out if there is a change to your coping habits and healing techniques. The best thing you can do for yourself is to continue learning. Research! Research! Research! Read books, blogs, talk to professionals, join support groups (in person or online). Gather knowledge on what you need to help your healing journey continuously improve. You cannot learn everything from one person or one post or book or podcast episode. However, you can gain so much by hearing other people’s healing journeys because you might learn something that you can incorporate into your life that can really help change things for the better, which is what I hope to achieve with this blog. It’s small actions that make big differences!!! And this doesn’t only pertain to healing from traumas relating to your childhood- it can be any trauma you have endured in life.
I am at the beginning of healing from my childhood traumas. It seems like a new one pops up every time I think I’m making progress, which only means that I am learning more and more about myself, which is a good thing. It’s crazy how certain things that happen in your childhood can have such a huge impact on your adult self. From the choices you make, the way you think, your self-esteem, what triggers you, your behavior during conflict, and even causes mental illnesses like depression and anxiety. This could all be prevented and/or treated with the right help and awareness,
As always, please please please seek professional help from a therapist or psychologist when needed!! Sometimes when we are uncovering traumas and attempting to heal from them, it can be very triggering and emotional and hard to deal with at times. So please have someone you can call if you feel like you are feeling a little out of control!
It is NOT your fault. It was never your fault. You were never to blame regardless of what happened or what anyone said. You were meant to be here. You have a purpose in this world even if you have no clue what that purpose is now. You may be fulfilling it without even knowing. It’s important to remove all blame off of you when you begin this journey. You need to forgive yourself for things you had no control over.
Journaling will help you uncover your traumas, deep truths, and heal.
Journaling will be life changing for you! Even if you aren’t healing your inner child or other traumas. The way you approach journaling is vital. Your intention behind it is important as well as how you write. The goal is not to keep a day-to-day diary of what you did. You want to write about your emotions, the traumas, why you act the way you do, why you behave the way you do, how you picture your life to be, how you want your days to actually look like, the goals you want to accomplish, etc. You want to be as honest as possible when you are writing and DO NOT stop yourself from writing something you maybe don’t believe because there is truth in there. Just allow yourself to freely write. After you’ve got it all out, shift the narrative to a positive one. You are becoming a happier person, you do love the way you look, you can be in crowded places, you are on the path to becoming free from your abuser, you are healing every day. Whatever your story is!! Just start journaling! (Check out my other blog posts where I talk more about journaling and how it has helped me tremendously)
One piece of important advice I could give you is to not keep circling around the “should of’s.” Don’t bury yourself in resentments and regrets. You didn’t know what you do now so you cannot blame yourself for making certain choices or going through certain situations. You were doing the best you could. What you can do is find a lesson or something positive from every situation no matter the circumstance. You either came out stronger, wiser, more resilient, confident, loving, caring, motivated, etc. SOMETHING. You have to try your best to find the good in things. Shift your perspective. Sometimes it’s easier to understand things from another point of view.
Acknowledge your pain and hurt. Your feelings and emotions are valid, and you absolutely did not deserve what you went through. Don’t suppress your feelings anymore or try to distract yourself from these feelings. That’s not healing anything. Feel them, process them, and release them. I personally release my burdens and struggles at the feet of our Lord. That gives me great comfort. However, you can do other actions that can feel cleansing or as a way of detoxing. Allow yourself to cry. Ugly cry, scream, punch a pillow. Let yourself release the emotions that have been suppressed for so long. Once you get it out or before you even finish, jump in a hot shower. Imagine the water washing away the hurt, the anguish, the suffering, the negative thoughts, all of it, down the drain. Imagine the shower cleansing you of all of your pain and traumas and watch it go down the drain. Finish the last 10 seconds of your shower with cold water. This physical act can bring you some comfort on your healing journey, there are other things you can do as well, but this is a start.
Like I said before, it’s little actions every day that accumulate and compound into bigger results. Little acts of love to yourself will go a long way on this journey. The path to healing is long and ever evolving, but you don’t have to be fully healed to be happy, to be loved, to love or to grow and succeed. Don’t let your traumas stop you from being the best version you can be. These traumas don’t define you nor do they define your future. You can heal and grow at the same time. You can be healing and still feel happiness. These things can coexist with each other. So be easy on yourself. Your soul is fragile and needs lots of love from you.
I’m here if you want to talk. Email is always open for you.
One of the first things I learned about when starting this clean beauty products journey was how many ways you can use coconut oil. My face creams/soaps/moisturizer were the first products I looked to swap out immediately after learning what harmful chemicals were in them. I personally use coconut oil in every way I mention below; however, I just started doing number 8 (drinking it) when I find that I haven’t used coconut oil to cook in some time. It has been such a game changer and huge money saver!! I replaced my body lotions, face moisturizer, hair oil and lip balm with coconut oil. It didn’t happen overnight, I swapped one thing out at a time and tested it out for two months before deciding if it was for me. Also, I use organic unrefined coconut oil from the grocery store! (It’s the best option!)
Quick tip in case you’ve never used coconut oil before. When it’s cold it solidifies so you’ll want to scoop some in your hands and rub together to help it melt then apply to the desired areas. If using after a shower during the colder months, I usually put my jar of coconut oil on the heater so that it starts to melt and is warmed for after my shower.
Okay, let’s get into it!
Skin (body) moisturizer– improves appearance of skin and may heal stretch marks. Replace your regular body lotion with this for after the shower moisturizing.
Face care treatment- under eye care, dark circles, and wrinkles around eyes and mouth can be treated using raw coconut oil. Great face moisturizer but be careful with your pores. Use judgment; if your skin seems dry then go crazy. Apply the coconut oil and let it bake on your skin. Dap off excess with a tissue. However, if your skin is on the oily side, then skip a day or two. Coconut oil has also been known to prevent acne and help with acne scars, but it also known to clog pores when overused in excess. Be the judge of your skin here 🙂
Lashes– If you’re looking to grow your natural lashes then pause on getting anything major like lash extensions. Get yourself a clean, soft eyelash brush and some coconut oil. Brush daily and apply coconut oil 2-3 times a week. Be sure to wash your lashes between uses!! Best tip is to wash your lashes when you’re doing your daily skin care routine or rinsing your face before bed.
Cooking– coconut oil is a much healthier alternative to the average person’s butter, canola oil, olive oil, etc. Fry, saute, and bake with this stuff. It may add a flavor to your food. Some people love it, some don’t. My suggestion is to start with a little at first.
Hair oil for styling– If you have curly or wavy hair, after you wash and apply your cream(s) & gel/mousse, use some coconut oil to lock in the moisture into your hair. This is perfect for hair that’s on the dry side. Use ‘praying hands’ technique and scrunches to apply to your hair.
DIY hair masks– Warm up some coconut oil in the microwave for 10-15 seconds (be careful!!! Not too hot. It is oil after all) and massage it into your scalp and work your way to the roots of your hair. Wrap your hair up for 20-30 minutes then wash it out in the shower and continue with your normal wash day routine. It will add some much-needed moisture and shine!
Lip balm– Out of chapstick or lip gloss? Reach for your nearest organic unrefined coconut oil from nearly every grocery store and apply some as you would your regular lip balm. Super glossy and lightweight, coconut oil is the perfect alternative to these chemical-filled chapsticks on store shelves that actually dry out your lips so that you have to apply more. We don’t have time for that!!
Drink/eat to reduce belly fat and increase metabolism– First things first, as for everything on this planet, consume in moderation!!! If coconut oil is eaten in large amounts, it could actually do the opposite of what you are trying to achieve and actually cause health issues. So please be mindful of how much you are consuming especially if you are already at risk of things like heart disease. If you don’t like the flavor of cooking with coconut oil you can drink a tablespoon of coconut oil in warm water once a day if you cannot find any other way to get coconut oil into your diet.
Sunburn relief– forget to put enough SPF while outdoors and now you’re dealing with a painful sunburn. Been there! I got two options for you- reach for the nearest coconut oil and apply it all over or use raw egg whites and apply that all over your sunburn. Fun fact, raw egg whites have collagen in them similar to human collagen. The stuff we need to keep our skin looking young and clear.
Natural deodorant– Now that everyone is becoming more aware of the harmful chemicals in our everyday products like toothpaste and deodorants, people are getting creative with what they are using to replace these harmful products. (btw- yes you can make homemade toothpaste with coconut oil). The biggest thing is the chemicals in women’s deodorants that cause breast cancer and other illnesses. Many women are turning to are looking for more natural options but they are also finding that these natural options don’t leave them smelling so great after a day’s use. This trick may work for some and not for others, but it won’t hurt to try!! Apply some coconut oil to your pits to help with the odor you may get with natural deodorant alternatives. See how it goes!
Here’s my list of all the ways you can use coconut oil at home! I wanted to keep it short and sweet and straight to the point. So I hope this was beneficial to you in some way! If you already use coconut oil or decide to try it out, let’s chat in the comments!
It is time to start embracing your natural appearance!
I can picture her now. The little girl with super frizzy curls whose parents had no idea how to care for them. Years of brushing my dry curls, adding no products, no nutrients or moisture and lots and lots of ponytails. Then middle school hit, and the crunchy gel covered curls were in, but my hair was so unhealthy, brittle, lacking significant moisture, and my curls were wavier so my ‘curls’ didn’t look like the other girls. I hated my hair with a passion. It wasn’t until high school when I got a hold of my first flat iron. FORGET ITTTTT. CURLS WHERE?!
Oh, this straight hair gave me LIFE. It gave me more confidence and gave me a new look. But looking back at it now, this confidence felt more superficial. Hidden under a face of makeup and a flat iron. I felt fierce asf though don’t get me wrong but at the end of the day I was tired of this ‘look’ I had to keep up with daily. It was heavy on my heart and felt very inauthentic to my core. I didn’t feel beautiful in my own skin, and I knew that was something I needed to work on. It wasn’t healthy to live this way because if I didn’t love myself then who would? Self-love is the most important kind of love.
Women need to realize that we set the standards for how we want to be loved by someone else.
Moving forward, I decided to put down the flat iron and wear my hair natural. I am not going to lie to you, it was very hard for the first 6 months to a year as I learned how to wash, style, and sleep with my curls, and which products are good for my hair and each of their purposes. Man, it is a lot of work to manage a head of curls!! But I am sooo happy I did it. Fast forward a couple years to the current day of me having healthy, defined, bouncing coiled curls!!! My confidence took a huge leap! It wasn’t until I learned to love my appearance without makeup and a flat iron that I reached true self love. The biggest lesson I learned was that we are all so beautiful in our own unique ways. All we have to do is be kind to ourselves, focus on what we love about ourselves, nurture our mind, body & spirit, and create your own personalized self-care routines for your hair and skin. Simple care goes a long way. When you show yourself appreciation, it will repay you double. A happy you is a successful you.
Treat your natural hair and skin like a flower and help it to flourish.
However, as the years went on and I adopted a journaling practice, I realized that my confidence and self-love was more than just my hair. It was about loving exactly how God created me. Every imperfection was made perfectly in His eyes. He made no mistake. Now it’s our job to love every bit of ourselves, His creation. Why try to change your appearance to look like the rest of the world?! There is no one in this world like YOU. No one talks like you, thinks like you, cares like you, or creates like you. Sure, call it cliche, but cliches are usually TRUE! THERE IS ONLY ONE OF YOU!!!! So act like it.
There’s something about working on yourself that makes you feel so damn powerful. This feeling doesn’t come on immediately, but when you’ve put in the work and you start feeling the changes, it hits you. YOU did that sis!!!! You started from square one and picked yourself up and put yourself back together. All the books you’ve read, podcasts you’ve listened to, the amount of prayers you prayed for this healing. It’s all falling into place on its own, slowly but surely.
It feels good. It feels so damn good to have control over your reactions to other people’s bullshit. It feels damn good to not allow other people’s bullshit affect your mental health and inner peace no more. It feels realllllll good to love yourself from inside-out, head to toe. All of you. Because not only did God create a beautiful human being, but you helped build this woman up to who she is now. And for that you should be proud. Regardless if you ‘made it’ yet or if you still have a long way to go. You are still further today than you were 3 years ago and even 3 months ago!! Each day is progress, you just have to keep choosing to win. Discipline will keep you going when the results aren’t completely visible. Keep putting in that work because it will pay off. It will only make you a better person.
You are doing this for YOU. Remember that. It’s your life and you are your priority! You cannot and will not pour from an empty cup. You deserve better and your family deserves better. Love yourself first and always.
The thing about always putting others needs first and going through life without healing from all the trauma you have been through, you neglect yourself more than you realize and your whole self will feel it so deeply. Many of us can’t even put a name to it or even pinpoint why you feel so damn shitty all the time no matter what you do or how much sleep you get. You’re always tired, irritable, easily triggered, uneasy, stressed, anxiety riddled and may even be having physical symptoms like back pain, headaches, acne or even stomach discomfort (nausea, poop issues). Yessss self neglect can show up in many ways!!!!! It’s a snowball effect. Your body starts showing you that something isn’t right within you by messing with your moods or causing more anxiety than usual.
When we continue living life ignoring these symptoms of your body’s cry for help, they begin to grow and evolve inside you and show up in other ways like making you super irritable at your kids, husband or friends then you start experiencing headaches or stomach pains on a weekly basis now. Like seriously we need to stop living our lives putting all of our needs on the back burner because of all that is expected of us.
So what can we do to begin releasing and restoring ourselves?
There’s too much picture perfect filtered image that people paint for us that it makes it too easy to compare our lives to. We need to put the phone down and look in the mirror. Tell yourself how beautiful, strong and blessed you are and all other affirmations you need to hear. Do this daily! Then make yourself a cup of coffee and tea then pick up your journal and pen and start writing!! Allow yourself to write anything that comes to mind, even if you don’t believe it right now. Release all your fears and hopes and dreams into your journal. When you’re done you can sort your fears into the right category in your mind. Not all of your fears are rational but sometimes your mind will fully believe them. You literally have to shift the narrative in your journal to embed it into your mind. Instead of saying,” I’m so inconsistent.” Try, “I am working on becoming more consistent every day. I’m so glad that I have created a schedule to help me become more consistent” or “I’m so thankful that I can feel myself becoming more motivated to continue my consistency.” Your brain can’t really determine the truth from a lie, but it will believe what you write and think. So when you journal or while you allow your mind to drift into your thoughts- make sure you are controlling the narrative you are telling yourself.
As long as you continue caring what people think of you, it will forever eat you alive. People’s negative image of you has more to do with themselves more than anything. They see things in you they wish they had, you are doing things they wish they could, and you carry yourself in a way they could never. Don’t forget who tf you are. Focus on your self care, personal development and bettering yourself in every way.
Listen, God made every part of you PERFECT to His standards and we need to learn to love all of it. We only get one body, one mind, one soul, one life. Let’s love every part and rejoice in God’s blessings!! He is the only opinion that should matter to us!
Self-care is more than doing things that brings you instant gratification or temporary happiness. It’s deeper than that. Self-care should be focused on caring and nurturing your whole self. Your body, mind and soul. Something simple like a hot bath can be used to nurture your body, but when you add a book, some candles and a yummy smelling bath bomb then it starts to nurture your mind as well. Playing meditation music in the background can make this task focus on all three areas of self-care!! Yesss please!
It’s important to make sure you are including self-care activities that focus on the different areas because if we only did things that cared for our body, then our mind and soul is neglected. Try to find ways to improve your self-care routine by making sure they focus on your mind, body and soul. Another example could be- going for a walk. But instead of just walking, you can either listen to meditation music or an educational podcast- both will nurture your mind, but another option is to listen to nature. Be fully present and listen for the birds, the wind blowing the trees, the squirrels running, the high tide river, etc. all the noises of nature can bring you spiritual peace which in turn will bring you mental peace.
Self-care leads to self-love
The last example I will give you is doing a mind dump where you literally dump everything on your mind onto a piece of paper. Messy, unorganized thoughts just written out in any order. Once your mind is clear, journal! Start with a simple question like- “What will you surrender in order to protect your peace today/this week?” or “What kind of lifestyle do you want? How exactly do I want my days to look like?” Then start writing. Visualize yourself being that person as you write. Don’t stop your thoughts, just write it all down in your journal. Do this daily and find different journal prompts that work for you and watch real change start to happen. (Follow this blog because I enjoy sharing journal prompts that I love or sign up for me email newsletter here.) If you are a beginner or fairly new to journaling, I would suggest purchasing my Self Love Journal. It’s a PDF file so you can print it out and immediately get to work. It’s available under the “Shop” tab above and at my Etsy shop and you’ll be able to read more in detail what it includes. It’s absolutely worth it!!
Journaling unlocks something within.
When we care for all three parts of us, we will achieve a whole new level of SELF LOVE and peace. In your self-care time, you will learn so much about yourself; what you truly enjoy doing, what brings you real happiness and gets the happy hormones firing, what helps you fully relax, how you recharge, what gets you excited, etc. Feeling aligned within and focusing on filling your cup up, you allow yourself to experience life differently. We are a little less tense, a little less stressed, more gentle, more positive, more loving. It’s the start to a whole new perspective on life. A whole new YOU.
I hope that you benefited from this post in some way. I’d love to hear your self-care routines! Comment below with yours! 🙂
Strength Scripted 