There is no secret formula or pill you can take to make all your childhood traumas (and other traumas) disappear like they’ve never happened. I wish, for everyone’s sake, there was. Everyone’s journey is unique to them so no two people will share the exact same path to healing. Healing happens within and is catered to you and your emotions, mindset, and environment, etc. There are so many moving factors, and some things may work now and stop working in the future and that’s okay!! It’s totally normal because your healing journey is supposed to evolve. It shouldn’t be linear because we are complex humans with complex emotions. So don’t freak out if there is a change to your coping habits and healing techniques. The best thing you can do for yourself is to continue learning. Research! Research! Research! Read books, blogs, talk to professionals, join support groups (in person or online). Gather knowledge on what you need to help your healing journey continuously improve. You cannot learn everything from one person or one post or book or podcast episode. However, you can gain so much by hearing other people’s healing journeys because you might learn something that you can incorporate into your life that can really help change things for the better, which is what I hope to achieve with this blog. It’s small actions that make big differences!!! And this doesn’t only pertain to healing from traumas relating to your childhood- it can be any trauma you have endured in life.
I am at the beginning of healing from my childhood traumas. It seems like a new one pops up every time I think I’m making progress, which only means that I am learning more and more about myself, which is a good thing. It’s crazy how certain things that happen in your childhood can have such a huge impact on your adult self. From the choices you make, the way you think, your self-esteem, what triggers you, your behavior during conflict, and even causes mental illnesses like depression and anxiety. This could all be prevented and/or treated with the right help and awareness,
As always, please please please seek professional help from a therapist or psychologist when needed!! Sometimes when we are uncovering traumas and attempting to heal from them, it can be very triggering and emotional and hard to deal with at times. So please have someone you can call if you feel like you are feeling a little out of control!
It is NOT your fault. It was never your fault. You were never to blame regardless of what happened or what anyone said. You were meant to be here. You have a purpose in this world even if you have no clue what that purpose is now. You may be fulfilling it without even knowing. It’s important to remove all blame off of you when you begin this journey. You need to forgive yourself for things you had no control over.
Journaling will help you uncover your traumas, deep truths, and heal.
Journaling will be life changing for you! Even if you aren’t healing your inner child or other traumas. The way you approach journaling is vital. Your intention behind it is important as well as how you write. The goal is not to keep a day-to-day diary of what you did. You want to write about your emotions, the traumas, why you act the way you do, why you behave the way you do, how you picture your life to be, how you want your days to actually look like, the goals you want to accomplish, etc. You want to be as honest as possible when you are writing and DO NOT stop yourself from writing something you maybe don’t believe because there is truth in there. Just allow yourself to freely write. After you’ve got it all out, shift the narrative to a positive one. You are becoming a happier person, you do love the way you look, you can be in crowded places, you are on the path to becoming free from your abuser, you are healing every day. Whatever your story is!! Just start journaling! (Check out my other blog posts where I talk more about journaling and how it has helped me tremendously)
One piece of important advice I could give you is to not keep circling around the “should of’s.” Don’t bury yourself in resentments and regrets. You didn’t know what you do now so you cannot blame yourself for making certain choices or going through certain situations. You were doing the best you could. What you can do is find a lesson or something positive from every situation no matter the circumstance. You either came out stronger, wiser, more resilient, confident, loving, caring, motivated, etc. SOMETHING. You have to try your best to find the good in things. Shift your perspective. Sometimes it’s easier to understand things from another point of view.
Acknowledge your pain and hurt. Your feelings and emotions are valid, and you absolutely did not deserve what you went through. Don’t suppress your feelings anymore or try to distract yourself from these feelings. That’s not healing anything. Feel them, process them, and release them. I personally release my burdens and struggles at the feet of our Lord. That gives me great comfort. However, you can do other actions that can feel cleansing or as a way of detoxing. Allow yourself to cry. Ugly cry, scream, punch a pillow. Let yourself release the emotions that have been suppressed for so long. Once you get it out or before you even finish, jump in a hot shower. Imagine the water washing away the hurt, the anguish, the suffering, the negative thoughts, all of it, down the drain. Imagine the shower cleansing you of all of your pain and traumas and watch it go down the drain. Finish the last 10 seconds of your shower with cold water. This physical act can bring you some comfort on your healing journey, there are other things you can do as well, but this is a start.
Like I said before, it’s little actions every day that accumulate and compound into bigger results. Little acts of love to yourself will go a long way on this journey. The path to healing is long and ever evolving, but you don’t have to be fully healed to be happy, to be loved, to love or to grow and succeed. Don’t let your traumas stop you from being the best version you can be. These traumas don’t define you nor do they define your future. You can heal and grow at the same time. You can be healing and still feel happiness. These things can coexist with each other. So be easy on yourself. Your soul is fragile and needs lots of love from you.
I’m here if you want to talk. Email is always open for you.