Hiiiii! Hope you are doing fabulous and you’re weekend is full of relaxation, laughter and peace.
I wanted to share with you my latest video I created on TikTok! I’ve made a few videos in the past but this is my first one in a while! Should I keep making more like this? Try something different? Or should I just stay off TikTok?? I wanna hear what you think! I honestly really enjoyed creating these kinds of videos and would like to do more if you guys like them!
Check it out below!
If you wanna follow me on TikTok my handle is “StrengthScripted”!! Follow me and I’ll follow back 🤍
I honestly don’t know where to start with this one because it’s still so fresh… My father is still currently battling alcoholism and has since I was a baby. I’ve begged him to stop drinking since I was a child. By the age of 16 I knew there was nothing I could do or say that would make my dad stop drinking and using drugs. I was a daddy’s girl and was very protective over my dad which caused me to enable him. I would say things like, “Yes dad, have a beer, but only one.” “Please don’t sniff that line dad, just have some beer instead.” But I also have to remember that regardless of if I gave him ‘permission’ to drink or not, he will find a way to do what he wants. There were times where he lived with me (as an adult), and I had rules to how drunk he could get because I have had enough of dealing with my drunk father growing up. I want to help him, but I also have to protect my mental health as well. Knowing damn well that having my alcoholic father live with me while he still abuses alcohol and drugs was never good for my mental health to begin with, but there was no way I would allow my dad to be homeless. He has been in and out of rehab and only lasted several months before he relapsed and went back to his old ways. Nothing was going to stop my dad until he wanted to or until he was forced. I want to mention that my dad is an army veteran with PTSD and other mental health issues like depression and anxiety, so he turns to alcohol to numb his pain and wash away his worries. He realizes that it’s only a temporary fix, so he decides to start drinking from the time he wakes up until he goes back to sleep. Like clockwork.
It took me a while to realize that I was enabling my dad, but I felt like out of all the crap people in my dad’s life that take advantage of him and never help him out, I felt like my dad needed someone like me in his life. This was how I felt. He knows he can always come to me because I have nothing but love for him. Yes he has hurt me a lot with his addictions, but I have forgiven him and his illness because he too has had a hard upbringing. We have to remember that our parents also had a childhood and a life before us. Unhealed, our childhood traumas follow us into adulthood. I try to picture people as a child to understand them better. Everyone needs someone with some empathy in them to understand just a glimpse of our lives and traumas. Sometimes an abuser just needs to know they aren’t alone, that they do have something to live for and that someone in this world does love them.
My dad has continued to try to get clean. He has significantly reduced his drug use over the years, but alcoholism has continued to haunt him. He has realized that his drinking is starting to affect his body and organs. Right now he is dealing with several medical issues associated with his drinking and unhealthy living habits. With the help, guidance and love of God and reading the bible, my dad has put in a real effort to change his life around. He doesn’t want to hit rock bottom again and lose everything like he did 12 years ago. He has worked too hard and I believe God still has a purpose for him here because of everything terrible he has gone through, he is still alive. Recently my dad has had a major surgery and is scheduled for another surgery in a month. He now has no choice but to stop drinking and abusing his vessel that God has blessed him with.
I’ve learned from dealing with my dad that either they will decide to stop drinking or it will be decided for them one way or another. We have to remember that we cannot force our parents or loved one to stop drinking and using drugs if they do not want to put the work in to actually quit and fight temptations. We also have to remember that it isn’t our fault they are like this and that this disease is not truly who they are. They are a different person under the influence. They are hurt and broken inside and are finding a way to numb it. Many won’t admit, some will acknowledge it. It’s important to protect your mental health and energy and remind yourself that they do love you under all of the rage of alcohol and/or drugs. I am still healing from the trauma around my dad’s alcoholism and drug addiction. All we can continue doing is pray to God that he will save them and guide them onto the right path to Him. Leave all of your burdens at God’s feet and watch Him work
I hope someone reading this that is dealing with something similar can take something away from this post. I don’t have it figured out and the only psychology background I have is some college classes. I just wanted to share my personal opinions and reflections I’ve made over many years of living with this. Thank you for reading 🤍
The thing about always putting others needs first and going through life without healing from all the trauma you have been through, you neglect yourself more than you realize and your whole self will feel it so deeply. Many of us can’t even put a name to it or even pinpoint why you feel so damn shitty all the time no matter what you do or how much sleep you get. You’re always tired, irritable, easily triggered, uneasy, stressed, anxiety riddled and may even be having physical symptoms like back pain, headaches, acne or even stomach discomfort (nausea, poop issues). Yessss self neglect can show up in many ways!!!!! It’s a snowball effect. Your body starts showing you that something isn’t right within you by messing with your moods or causing more anxiety than usual.
When we continue living life ignoring these symptoms of your body’s cry for help, they begin to grow and evolve inside you and show up in other ways like making you super irritable at your kids, husband or friends then you start experiencing headaches or stomach pains on a weekly basis now. Like seriously we need to stop living our lives putting all of our needs on the back burner because of all that is expected of us.
So what can we do to begin releasing and restoring ourselves?
There’s too much picture perfect filtered image that people paint for us that it makes it too easy to compare our lives to. We need to put the phone down and look in the mirror. Tell yourself how beautiful, strong and blessed you are and all other affirmations you need to hear. Do this daily! Then make yourself a cup of coffee and tea then pick up your journal and pen and start writing!! Allow yourself to write anything that comes to mind, even if you don’t believe it right now. Release all your fears and hopes and dreams into your journal. When you’re done you can sort your fears into the right category in your mind. Not all of your fears are rational but sometimes your mind will fully believe them. You literally have to shift the narrative in your journal to embed it into your mind. Instead of saying,” I’m so inconsistent.” Try, “I am working on becoming more consistent every day. I’m so glad that I have created a schedule to help me become more consistent” or “I’m so thankful that I can feel myself becoming more motivated to continue my consistency.” Your brain can’t really determine the truth from a lie, but it will believe what you write and think. So when you journal or while you allow your mind to drift into your thoughts- make sure you are controlling the narrative you are telling yourself.
As long as you continue caring what people think of you, it will forever eat you alive. People’s negative image of you has more to do with themselves more than anything. They see things in you they wish they had, you are doing things they wish they could, and you carry yourself in a way they could never. Don’t forget who tf you are. Focus on your self care, personal development and bettering yourself in every way.
Listen, God made every part of you PERFECT to His standards and we need to learn to love all of it. We only get one body, one mind, one soul, one life. Let’s love every part and rejoice in God’s blessings!! He is the only opinion that should matter to us!
Introductions are usually very awkward for me as I am an introvert, but I do enjoy deep conversations. I usually want to skip over the fluff and get into the good stuff. So that’s exactly what we are going to do here. My name is Janice (or J) and I’m the creator & designer of this blog and shop. I’m a mom to an awesome kid and a crazy animal lady. I literally run off coffee and kisses. I love being near water (ocean, lakes, streams, etc.) Nature brings me so much peace! It’s my escape. I am a budding plant mom who was never able to keep a plant alive to now having a bunch of thriving houseplants thanks to the pandemic. I consider myself pretty intuitive and spiritual, but don’t get me confused. I just know how to listen, observe and feel in tuned with my body. Being an empath definitely helps. I praise God and you’ll see me mention Him throughout this blog because He is a huge part in my life, and He is where the joy is. You don’t need to be a believer in God to follow or benefit from my work, it just wouldn’t be genuine of me if I don’t mention God while sharing my healing journey because he was there along the entire way. He is the reason I am still here today.
The main purpose of this blog is to share my life lessons & experiences which may include all things self-love, mental health, healing, as well as sharing my clean beauty secrets, self-care hacks and pep talks to empower others to be great!! I also create lovely art printables and other goodies in my Etsy shop. (Your support means the world to me!) You will get a good mix of things on this blog, and I hope that you find something that you can benefit from or apply to your own life. By being vulnerable and sharing my personal experiences I pray that someone reading this will be touched in some way to take action as well. My email list is where you want to be because that is where I will share raw stories not on the blog, along with occasional pep talks & affirmations so be sure to sign up for that under the contact tab. Don’t worry, the emails won’t come too often. & You’ll also get first access to any sales I may have going on in the shop!!
Now it’s your turn to introduce yourself! Comment here or shoot me a DM! I would love to connect more with you!!