Tag Archives: importance of self care

What is self care? The most used and abused word.

Let’s dig deeper into the meaning of Self-Care

We need to talk about the real meaning of “self-care” because it has turned into such an overused word that is beginning to change the true meaning of it. Sure many self-care practices involve bath bombs, skin care routines, yoga etc. but the more vital part of self-care is why you’re doing it, how it makes you feel and how it’s helping you improve yourself worth, self love and confidence. There’s more to self care than bath bombs.

Self-care is building an unbreakable bond between your mind, body and soul.

Janice Avilla @strengthscripted

I don’t make self-care a priority because it’s fun and trendy. I make my self-care a priority because it fills my cup up. It gives me energy to tackle the day. It lifts me back up after a long hard day. It makes me feel worthy of being loved by myself, not others. It makes me happy. I do it for ME. I do it for my son. Because when I take care of myself, I’m more happy and at ease and I can give my best to my son and the people around me.

Practicing self care regularly has allowed me to connect more deeply with myself. I am more in tune with my mind and body. I can read the signs my body is giving more clearly. I know when my period is coming, estimate when I’m ovulating, and recognize that certain pain in my body is my mind trying to distract me from something bigger. I can identify the emotions I’m feeling and help myself process those feelings accordingly. My anxiety has gotten better because I can organize my thoughts and determine whether they are rational or not. I have created my own inner happiness that is untouched by my environment. All because of my commitment to self-care

I have created my own inner happiness that is untouched by my environment. All because of my commitment to self-care.

Janice @StrengthScripted

Society and big brands trying to sell you their products slap the “self-care” word all over their marketing and hope people will fall for it. Influencers claim if you use their essential oils or bath bomb then you will feel so much happy and fulfilled because of this self care act. In reality, people need to look within and find what you actually need to feel fulfilled. Everyone’s self care needs are different and no one can tell you what YOU need to do for self care to fill YOUR cup up and improve YOUR self love. If you don’t like to take baths then what good are bath bombs gonna be? What works for some might not work that well for you.

My biggest advice for beginning your actual self-care journey is to journal. Write down anything that comes to mind, everything that makes you happy, things you love, things you want to do someday, your goals, dreams, desired lifestyle, etc. etc. Just write. You will get to know yourself in your journal and begin building your self-care routine that’s catered specifically to you. It’s much more special when you build your own routine. I would check out The Self Love Journal that I created to help you get started. It’s a workbook style PDF with journal prompts, self care planner etc to help guide you on your journey. [Check the shop tab on top or click the link above]. It’s what helped me so much on my own journey so I worked really hard to put a book together to share with others. When I began this journey I was alone and didn’t know others who were interested in anything self-care (explains all the burnout in the workplace), but you don’t have to feel that way because I am here for you! My mission here is to create a community for women who are all on their self-care/love journey that can share their experience and advice to others and help build each other up. If you’re interested in joining the group chat, please comment below or email me directly [check the contact tab] so I can add you. It’s a secure and private chat vetted personally by me!

Lastly, I hope that this post has resonated with you and has given you the motivation to make self-care a priority to you. If you’re still feeling a bit unsure, join the chat and start there or purchase the The Self Love journal to get started. But you don’t really need any of these, just yourself. You got this!!! One stepping stone at a time.

Now go be great!

Xo, J

Why did I get into self-care and why YOU should to!

Sometimes awful situations lead us to great things.

Please set your triggers to the side and read this post with an open mind and heart. I’m going to talk about a rough phase in my life that I am still healing from till this day. I will spare the details for maybe a future blog post(s), but for now I just want to share when self-care became a vital part in my life and how it got me out of the dark place I was in for so long.

It was my first year being a mom. A time I expected to be one of the happiest and joyful times in my life, but instead was filled with stress, anxiety, anger, and pain. A lot of pain. The following 3-4 years weren’t much different. In fact, it got worse. I will sum it up by saying one thing… I was suffering from abuse in many forms by a loved one. At the same time dealing with postpartum depression and anxiety. I was forced into a very dark place, and I had no idea what was happening. Life just passed me by. I was always so sad and hurt that I couldn’t enjoy my new baby or motherhood. I viewed myself in such a negative way it was heart shattering. I didn’t believe I was worthy enough of anything. I literally thought I looked “disgusting” with the extra baby weight and stretch marks. I would speak to myself so harshly when I made simple human mistakes. A lot of this was just me repeating what has been said to me so much that I started to identify as it. 

I am so thankful to my doctor for noticing signs of postpartum depression from me because she was the one who referred me to this awesome therapist. Unfortunately, I withheld the part of spousal abuse when I spoke with her every week. Again, I identified with the things he was saying to me, so it was easy to claim them as my own words. So, she had no idea what I was going through and thinking back now I regret not telling her because she probably could’ve helped me more. However, during one of our sessions she asked me, “What are you doing for self-care?” I literally had to ask her what exactly falls under self-care because I cannot remember the last time I did something for myself besides taking a quick 10 minute shower, especially as a new mom. (btw a shower is a basic life necessity, not your self-care for the day!) I had no time, energy, or desire to do anything for myself after finishing all my mom and wife duties. But she goes on to say, “you cannot keep running on E. You have to fill your tank up too so that you can be the best mom and wife.” So I say, “Okay, I get that. But how do I even fit doing things for myself with my busy schedule? I don’t even see it being worth my time or effort.”

That’s where the problem was. I didn’t see self-care as being worth the time and effort which truly meant I didn’t see myself as important enough to care for. I didn’t value my needs and wants. I didn’t see the importance of my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual wellness. I needed to completely shift this mindset I had about myself because it was so damaging and extremely limiting. This kind of thinking kept me in this dark bubble. A dark comfy bubble. It didn’t allow me to grow or to even be mindful enough to see the signs my body was giving me. This kind of mindset kept me numb and going through each day looking forward to bedtime. 

After talking more with my therapist, I realize I’m going to have to do some real work if I want a change in my life and to find the joy in things again. The first step was incorporating different forms of self-care into my life at least 1-2 times per week. This came in the form of journaling, yoga, doing my makeup, skin care, coffee outdoors, walks by the water, taking care of my natural hair, writing, and some other things I cannot remember right now. It was over the course of several years that I started these self-care habits so don’t think I began doing all of these things the next day. Journaling is the very first thing I started doing. I have always loved to write so this one was kind of easy for me to start. If you don’t make it easy or fun, you won’t be motivated at all to do it. Makeup was tough because I was limited on time, but it was something I really enjoyed doing before I became a mom so I would try to do my makeup whenever I could. Then I ran into skin care issues from wearing the makeup so naturally I transitioned to skin care and clean beauty products as a part of my self-care. I chose Sundays as my mini spa day where I would do hair and face masks (usually DIY from Pinterest) and eventually started painting my nails as well.

I just found things to do that brought me happiness, even if it was super small. I felt really good after doing my morning skin routine and going through the week with my nails painted. The more I noticed positive results from doing these self-care tasks, the more I wanted to do them. Whether it was feelings of happiness and being proud that I checked off self-care from my to-do list or seeing physical results from doing the yoga, walking and exercising and even my clear skin, I wanted to keep doing it. It made me feel good about my appearance, yes, but it made me feel so damn good inside at the same time. I felt worthy again. Like I deserve so much better. Self-care gave me a new perspective on life. It helped me crawl out of the depression hole and appreciate and love myself from the inside out, no matter what outside influences say. It made me realize how poorly I have been treating myself, how much I have been suffering and how much I have been suppressing my emotions as well. I was no longer numb to life.

If you related to anything I said, even if it was just one statement. I urge you to start taking self-care more seriously. Do things for you unapologetically with no regrets. Love all of you and pour into yourself consistently so that you can continue to pour into everyone around you. Self-care is defined by how you want to define it. My definition is taking care of all of you in every way necessary because you matter so damn much. Regardless of what, your presence in this world matters and you are here for a purpose!!

Continue to follow this blog for all things self-care, self-love and mental wellness. 

Now go be great,

xo, J